You Don’t Have to Leave Alcoholic Husband: Find your own identity. I remember a game I played as a child where you whisper something in the ear of the person next to you and they pass it on? Each person passes it on until it gets all the way around.
When you listen to what the last person thought they heard it was almost entirely wrong. A relationship with an addict can be that way. You start off with an understanding of who you are. Expecting to be and grow as an individual.
What happened? Did you lose yourself in the process? There’s something you can do about it. Let me ask you three simple questions:
- What is important to you?
- Is your identity buried by the relationship to your addict?
- What would it look like to rekindle your identity?
Don’t let fear of losing your relationship cloud how you think about your identity.Is your family important? What about your Friends?
Do you get to express thoughts freely?
There’s no need to deny what’s important in your life…it won’t make the relationship okay.
It may be painful for you to admit, but if your addict was not in your life… Would you act differently?
I’m not telling you to get out of your relationship.
I’m asking… Is your identity being buried by in the relationship?
Do you feel like your stomach is tied in knots?
No matter how hard you try… What matters to you is buried in the addiction.
Here are a few ways to dig out:
- Set time aside do what’s important to you.
- Don’t allow your needs to become last or unimportant.
- Renew old friendships and family relationships.
You can get past emotions that keep you down with a little courage. Think about it… You’re not losing what isn’t already damaged.Finding your identity is your best opportunity to renew the relationship. Remember the real you is who he fell in love with.
Here’s the most important question I want you to answer… What would it look like to rekindle your identity? Know who YOU are and what you want. Become independent and conqueror emotions that hold you back.
If your true identity comes out there will be time for all the family, friends, hobbies and interests you’ve missed out on.
I challenge you to get reacquainted with the REAL you and allow yourself to blossom.Promise not to allow yourself to be hidden by the addiction. This is one promise you can and must keep.
Each day take one decision at a time and ask, “Is this REALLY in my best interest? Does this decision allow my true identity to grow and flourish?”
Like the whisper game the real you is at the beginning where it all started, not at the end. You to can get back to who you are and grow as the person you want to be.