Dealing with the emotional reactions of an addict can be a challenge. People that are caught up in the full force of addiction do not see things in the same light as other people. They live in their own world and choose to see situations through their own addiction stained glasses. They put the blame on others for everything because nothing could be their fault.
Learning how to spot the attitude of addiction in the early stages can help you deal with a problem before it spirals out of control. A person caught up in addiction will do whatever it takes to get you to look away from their problem on focus on something (or someone) else.
Spotting the Attitude that Comes with Addiction
- Deflection – “It was not my fault. You made me do what I did.” Although this whole attitude has found its way into the general population, the addict tends to take it to a whole new level. “I only drank because you left your clothes on the floor.” The reasons behind their rationale are only mirrors to deflect attention away from the real problem.
- Denial – “There is no problem.” This can come in two forms. The first one denies that anything is going on. The empty bottles belong to someone else. The second one admits that the actions are happening but denies there is a problem. “I can quit anytime I want. I just have no reason to quit.”
- Dodging – “Look at how bad he is over there.” Many addicts believe they are not all that bad if the person that is next to them. They keep the people around them from focusing in on their own situation by continuously pointing fingers at someone else.
- Disinterest – “I care only about what I want.” The needs and concerns of others have lost all value. This reaction usually happens as the addiction grows and becomes the controlling force in life.
- Justifying – “It was only one drink.” An addict has to make allowances for the behavior. They will find a way to justify their choices even if it makes no rational sense.
- Pacifying – “but only because you are uncomfortable.” No responsibility is taken. The action may be stopped, but only because of the desires of an outside force. It leaves the addict opened to the deflection action should something ever come up in the future.
Most people with a problem will find a way to avoid dealing with that problem – until the hurt, habit or hang up becomes such a gorilla in the room that it HAS to be handled. The blame game helps the addict deflect their problems on to others and avoid holding the responsibility.
One of the best ways to spot a person with a problem is to learn to recognize the attitude of addiction. People that want you to focus on anything but them will find ways to direct your attention at the faults of others and pass the blame for any troubles or trials. Knowing what to look for will help you spot a problem sooner so that it can be handled in a timely manner