Do you have the feeling everyone is “out to get me”? This feeling can be very overwhelming and debilitating. There is good news. You do not have to continue feeling this way.
1. Most people spend more time contemplating their own issues and do not spend time on yours.
I have come to understand most people tend toward egocentricity. Simply put, it is most common for people to think of themselves before thinking of others.
When we spend time thinking people are consuming inordinate amounts of time thinking about us, it is most likely not true. We are not their priority.
Learning to recognize people are consumed by their self-interest can be freeing to a person who feel people are out to get me.
2. Most things happening around us have very little to do with us.
From an egocentric view it may be easy to think we are the center of our universe. This perspective suggests we would of necessity not be as significant in another person’s world.
So many actions are taken without us having anything participation. We are NOT responsible for the actions of everyone around us even if they tell us we are and try to blame.
I have come to believe the only thing you can control is yourself, and sometimes it is a full time job. Letting go of the myth of being able to control things outside yourself can be very liberating.
3. If you treat people the way you want to be treated it will eventually return good things to you.
I am sure you want to be treated with consideration and kindness. It is important then for you to begin the practice of giving the same to those you befriend.
You may have heard “what goes around comes around”? If you think about the statement for a while you may want consider what you want to have come around; then pay attention to what you send around.
When you make this change in the way you treat others the feeling of ‘out to get me’ will be dealt a severe blow.
4. Emotions are at best temporary. They will pass.
It is never a good idea to base important decisions simply on a feeling. Emotions come and go. They can change because we ate too much pizza last night or something we heard was upsetting.
Emotions result from our thoughts whether rational or irrational. They change quickly at times or tend to stick around like a familiar friend.
You can make an emotion change by altering what you think. When you do this intentionally it can make a big difference.
5. You cannot please all the people all of the time.
Will there be people who do not like you. Accept it as fact. You cannot please everyone.
There is something to be said for living your life in a way to be considerate of others even when you disagree or choose not to be friends.
I use a simple idea if you meet five people the likelihood is one will accept you easily, one will likely not accept you, and the other three depend on your interaction, personality and circumstances. There will always be that one who you will not win over.
6. Make decisions in your best interest and be willing to be accountable for the decisions.
When you have people are out to get me feelings it is difficult to make decisions. It is for this reason your focus needs to be on what is in your best interest. Do not be quick to choose. Take time and be thoughtful. Determine what works for you in your present circumstances.
Examine the choices. Do not stop until you have generated a dozen choices (some may seem absurd but they are still choices). When this is done, review and make a decision based on your values.
These suggestions are intended to help you when you get those feelings of everyone is out to get me.
Written by Wendell Montney