5_tips_if_you_live_with_an_alcoholic

5 Tips If You Live with an Alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic presents many challenges. It may best be described as a high stress situation. The only problem is the stress is infrequently relieved. The result of this ongoing stress is an adaptation to dysfunction ways of behaving. These tips are to help
you if you live with an alcoholic.

  1. The drinking is not about you
    1. Probably the most important point of all is to realize the problem is not yours.
      Even if a person in your family declares they drink because of you. It is simply NOT true.
      The reason alcoholics use is because they are addicted to the booze.
    2. There are plenty of excuses used to justify using. There is no truth in blaming others
      for consuming alcohol or becoming out of control. It is the responsibility of the person
      using and them alone.

     

  2. It is not possible for you to make anyone outside of yourself stop
    using

    1. It is possible for YOU to quit using alcohol, but to expect someone else to stop
      using because you ask them to is irrational, especially if they are addicted.
    2. Threats, promises, coercion or other methods of getting an alcoholic to behave the
      way you want are useless. It can become a pattern of behavior resulting in repeated
      disappointment, emotional pain and breakdown in whatever trust may still exist in the
      relationship.

     

  3. Stop enabling
    1. Enabling is where you cover for someone else’s behavior. Calling in sick for your family member
      when they are hung-over, making excuses for broken items such as furniture or personal
      items, or excusing the amount of drinking as he or she is a hard worker and deserves to
      have a few.
  4. Work on understanding yourself
    1. It is essential for you to begin understanding yourself. What are the reasons you
      tolerate the pain in this relationship? It is important to begin to like yourself in spite of
      the situation you are in at the moment.
    2. It may be easier to believe your happiness comes from someone else, but in reality it
      has to come from inside yourself. Take some time to get to know you. Try finding
      positive things you and spend time giving yourself credit for the things you do
      well.
  5. Be honest with yourself and others
    1. Recognize it is easier to think others make you feel the way you do than to take
      responsibility for how you think feel or behave. It is a giant step in the right direction to
      take full responsibility for your self. Leave others choices to them.
    2. Hiding from others the truth creates distortions. You end feeling pressured to live a
      lie with people who can provide significant support to you on your
      journey.

Be sure these tips will help you as you begin to use them. Spend some time using each of
them. If you need help to work on these issues you might be interested in getting to an
Al-Anon meeting or see a qualified therapist.

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