Being a teenager is not easy with all of the physical changes taking place. The role of a parent is no less complicated. The innocence of childhood is going away and in its place is an emerging individual. It is natural for teenagers to be drawn to their peers and to pull away from their family. These 3 things to know about parental involvement with teenagers will help you keep perspective during the transition.
Teenagers need you to be actively involved in their lives
- Even though you experience pushing away during teen years, it is not something you need to take personal. There is an intrinsic need for adolescents to find their own way. You could characterize it as their personal search for identity. It may not actually be complete until they reach 25 years old.
- The push away from parental involvement is not a rejection of the parent but a test to see if they will be okay in the rest of their world. They fully expect to have an involved parent there when they need them. Some areas they still seem to require are financial support, food, shelter and even emotional support.
Teenagers need consistency to be able to make the transition through their teens
- Adolescents need to test the boundaries. It is almost their job to do it. They need to know clearly what your expectations are for them. They need to know what the consequences are for not following the rules. They need to find acceptance when they come into conformity to the expectations.
- Being consistent is a very significant feature of parental involvement with teenagers. Parents may be perceived as strict or lenient. Teens will make adjustments in adulthood far better when you are a consistent parent regardless of your strictness.
Parents are a key factor in articulating expectations and values for teens
- As a parent you give information to a teen they need to make critical decisions. They may never tell you how important your advice or help is in their life. Trust me, it is important. Teens become adults and when they begin raising their own children they reflect on those essential pieces of support and help given in their youth.
- Do not underestimate the importance of telling teens about what you value. When telling them about how you came to hold certain ideas significant you can find parenting to be enjoyable even if at times difficult. Later it will come back rewarding.
Involvement of Parents with teenagers can be beneficial in the long run. Take the time, put in the effort and never give up on your teen because they are worth it.